Weclome to "Friends For Hire"

Are you bored with your life?

Do your friends get on your nerves?

When was the last time you had a really great time?

There's absolutely no reason your Saturdays should be dull and and your desire for pursuing happiness unfulfilled. Perhaps what you really need is to shake things up. Live a little. Have some good ol' fashioned fun.

At Friends for Hire that's what we do -- we have fun. Give us a call and we guarantee you will, too.

Friends for Hire? Who are you?

We're the people you call when you wake up Monday morning and cringe at the realization that you pissed away a perfectly good weekend, while also realizing you'll slog your way through five excruciating days of work before another wasted respite.

That's cruel. And that's where we come in.

We like beer. We like brisket. We like laying poolside with some tunes blasting and the sun on our faces. But what we like most is knowing that our clients are enjoying life just as much as we do. We're here for you. Your enjoyment is our business.

But what can you do for me?

We'll show up at your event, act like we've known you forever, and even supply an anecdote for every situation that may arise, as well as unique "how we met" stories for each new friend. We'll pump the keg, man the grill, impress your neighbors with that tale about the drowning toddler you saved, make you look good in front of your boss or co-workers, fabricate bedroom yarns to get you in good with that cute brunette in accounting, and even pet your dog. Don't have a dog? That's okay, because in our premium packages we'll bring one for you.

Our standard package starts at $500 for five friends. Need more friends? Who doesn't! We have plenty of people that will pretend to be your friend, and the more you want, the less you pay per friend! We've got dogs! We've got cats! We've even got well-behaved children that can pose as your nephew from Santa Clara!

We've got koozies and Mardi Gras beads. We've got water volleyballs and beach balls. We can get a grill going in minutes, and pour you a beer wih minimal foam. All you have to do is smile, play along, and reap the rewards that come with being the guy that knows how to throw a party!

Call us today! By tomorrow you'll be "The Man"!

*standard package only applies in Travis County. Beyond that customer must provide travel stipend and per diem. Customer also provides all alcohol, chasers, foodstuffs, grilling equipment, decorations, sunscreen, ice, lawn chairs, beach towels, parking, prophylactics, whipped cream, and aspirin. Appropriate events include, but are not limited to: lake parties, pool parties, tailgates, game-watching gatherings, casino nights, wedding receptions (actual wedding ceremony extra), BBQs, red carpet movie premieres, family reunions, bar mitzvahs, and graduations.No unauthorized photography. Discounted pricing available for: golf course residents, anyone with a pool, boat owners, and celebrities. Equal opportunity contractor.